Relationships are a tricky terrain to navigate. People have different ideas about what it takes to make them work once they’ve been going for a few years. Things change, and people change; how is it that two ever-changing people manage to stay together through it all, then? Well, the key to a successful relationship is accepting this change. Trying to recreate old magic won’t let your relationship grow into something new and exciting as you and your partner grow. If you want to put the spark back in your hearts then you both need to always be striving forward. Here’s a better explanation of what that means.
Be wild rather than mild.
Tender romance is the mark of two people who truly love each other, and that’s something to be cherished in a long-term relationship. However, at the same time, it’s also something to occasionally be discouraged. You might be raising an eyebrow quizzically right about now, but bear with this idea. People draw a line between the honeymoon period of a relationship and the “settled” period of a relationship because the initial stage is foreign and exciting whilst the latter stage is comfortable and safe.
What you’re missing is a little excitement. You need to remember the raw passion and wildness which drove you two together in the first place. Don’t undervalue the importance of a long-term commitment and the deep bond between the two of you as people, by any means. At the same time, don’t forget the excitement and electricity the two of you felt when everything was unsettled and unpredictable; do things which scare the two of you. Chase adrenaline, and go rock climbing or join a dancing class.
Do date night properly.
He may tell you that you’re beautiful every day, which is sure to make you feel comfortable enough to walk around in a baggy shirt and sweatpants, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop putting in the extra effort. When date night swings around, whether it’s a weekly or monthly affair, you should approach it as if it’s your first ever date with this person. Take the time to get a manicure and amp up your appearance; make sure they put in the extra effort too.
Remember the nerves and anticipation that first time you went out; you wanted to impress your new partner or soon-to-be partner so badly, and you should still want to do that now. Maybe you could look at some designer dresses and really bowl them over with a sleek and elegant new outfit. Maybe you could even surprise your significant other by setting up an unexpected date night at home; greet them with candles and dinner when they come in from work. Just make sure the kids are either in bed or at a friend’s house…
Let absence make the heart grow fonder.
Challenge yourselves. The way to put the spark back in the hearts of you and your partner is to really put the pair of you through a challenge. Go away for a few weeks, and see what happens. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it’s true. Alone time isn’t only a good way to recharge but a good way to reflect on what makes your partner so special; when you return, you might find that the pair of you are a lot more excited to see one another.