MIA – Week Two

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read Week One, I appreciate the support!

Week Two

Our daughter made her arrival toward the end of July 2017, and I am pretty sure we spent those first 48 hours in the hospital just staring happily at her. The day it was time to go home, I held her in my arms and cried on my husband’s shoulder. “She’s ours, she’s really ours, and we get to take her home.” I was so happy my heart burst open; it was the best feeling could have after all we had gone through. All of that waiting, those months of hoping we’d find out we were expecting, only to find out we weren’t, lead us to this wonderful amazing day, she was here, she was ours, we were going home.

My parents had come in from Oregon to help with our oldest daughter, and for a bit after we got home. Having them here for two weeks was so wonderful. They took Riley on great adventures, cooked meals, snuggled baby Tenley, and helped however they could. My husband also took that time off from work. He popped into the office from time to time, but otherwise he was home. Riley was at the end of her summer break, so my house was full of company and happiness. I felt like I was always surrounded by love.

Then it seemed as if I had the rug pulled out from under me. The two weeks was up. My parents had to go back to Oregon, my husband had to go back to work, and two days later our oldest started school started. After having two weeks of support and love all around, suddenly, I was alone, with a newborn.

Of course I knew it was going to be an adjustment. Adding a newborn always is as such. I now had to plan out our day to be ready to get Riley from school in the afternoons, amongst other things, all around feedings and numerous baby naps. I wasn’t going to figure it out day one, I knew that. What I didn’t see (or feel) at first, was slowly creeping in.

I was bummed out my parents had to go home, of course, I missed them and had days where I felt sad; but that wasn’t all that was going on. Everything soon began to feel like the biggest task. I felt heavy, and as if I couldn’t smile. About one month in to having a newborn, the Postpartum Depression had arrived. When I say nearly everything was hard, I mean it. Caring for Tenley seemed to be the only thing I could do.

Sometimes it comes in like a flood, other times it slowly rises and you can’t even fully tell it is happening. All you know is that something is wrong, off. One day in particular I just couldn’t even feel really anything. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life, however, PPD is a different beast. I did what I could to get through my day, but all I wanted to do was to disappear with my baby.

One evening, I basically did just that. I just couldn’t do anything anymore, even sitting in the living room was too much. My husband was making dinner, our oldest was hanging out in the dining/kitchen area. I had been nursing the baby on the couch and she started to doze off a little. Without saying anything, I just got up off the couch, went upstairs to our bedroom, gently laid her in her Rock N Play Sleeper (best thing ever for newborns), and just laid on my bed feeling numb.

The picture above was taken during that moment. She held my finger for a bit and that was everything to me, that seemed to be the only thing I could feel. My husband and oldest daughter hadn’t even noticed we had left the living room. After a little time had past, my husband came in and just held me for a little bit. I was so thankful that I didn’t need to say the words, he just knew. He left the baby and I to just be for a little while, until I felt ready to go back downstairs. That’s finally when I was able to release a little of my numbness, and I cried. The kind of cry where you make no noise and your tears just fall and fall.

Postpartum Depression is different for everyone who experiences it. Thankfully with the help of my therapist, and support from my husband, I was able to get through it. It took time, patience, and giving myself some grace. There was a lot of other things I dealt with during this time, and I honestly just don’t want to get into it all. Postpartum Depression is a highly personal journey, and I just hope that by sharing a little piece of mine, it helps another woman be able to find a way through hers.

If you are struggling with Postpartum Depression, depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness, I encourage you to find the help you need. Talk to your partner/spouse, a trusted family member or friend; find a good therapist. Remember that there is nothing wrong with you, and there are people to help guide you.

Stay strong, stay beautiful, stay kind.

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Be the Best Friend Ever to a New Mom


Flickr

 

People often forget how stressful being a new mom can be. That, or they don’t talk much about it, because moms are often expected to be filled with indestructible joy and energy about their new family member. As her friend, you may wonder what you can do to help her keep her energy and spirits up. Here are a few tips!

 

Be forgiving

 

The new mom is probably going to feel a little bit guilty; after all, she’s probably being inundated with well-wishes and questions about herself and the baby, mostly over the likes of text and Facebook. The truth is that she probably doesn’t have too much time to respond, and certainly not in as much detail as she’d like! So remember to be patient and forgiving – especially because she may be a bit rushed or agitated when you do manage to get through to her!

 

Arrange things with others

 

No, I’m not saying you should make plans to go out with other people that purposefully exclude the new mom! You simply need to keep communication with them because you don’t want to end up stressing her out. For example, a popular thing to do is make and deliver dinner to the new mom, something she can heat up later so she doesn’t have to do too much cooking herself. But sometimes, due to a lack of arrangement, several friends end up making food at around the same time, so your friend is left with more food than she can handle!

 

Pixabay

 

Gifts for both of them

 

The first thing people usually think about is buying gifts for the baby. And this is certainly something you should consider – it will make the new mom beam as much as the baby! But you may also want to consider bringing a little something for mom, too. Personalized items for friends and their kids is something you should look into. It doesn’t have to be anything big – even some make-up or some candy would probably go down a treat (provided you’re not buying the baby make-up, too!)

 

Plan something for the near-future

 

Your friend has her hands full, and it’s unlikely she’ll have much time to go out and do something with you. Of course, that may depend largely on how available the father or her partner is! Whatever the case, make no assumptions. Ask her if she’d like to go do something soon, even if it’s just catch a movie or go out for a coffee. If she’s too busy, then make sure you set a rough date for sometime in the near-future!

 

A helping hand

 

Last, but definitely not least. Perhaps the best thing you can do is offer a helping hand. Helping out with the dishes or any other cleaning tasks would probably mean the world to her! You could also offer to watch the baby if only for a little bit while mom gets a chance to have a long shower or bath. Taking chores off her hands will help her deal with the stress of being a new mom!

Friend Expecting? Stylish Gifts To Ensure Their Little One Is The Next Kate Moss

It’s always exciting to find out that one of your good friends are expecting a baby. After all, it means you will have a fun new playmate to go and visit. However, it can be a challenge to think about what you want to get your friend for their little one. If you are a fashion fan like me, you ought to consider going for some clothes. That way, you can ensure it’s a mini style icon. Therefore, here is some stylish gifts for your friend’s new baby to ensure they are the next Kate Moss!

 

 Pixabay

 

A cute pair of mittens

 One thing you should consider getting your friend’s baby is a cute pair of mittens. After all, these are perfect for the colder months. Your friend will be able to put the baby in the mittens before they head out with the pram. And they will certainly look adorable with the rest of their outfit. You can get some really cute ones around which will be perfect for the new baby. If you don’t know the gender of the baby yet, you might want to go for cream or yellow that will ensure they look stylish either way. And ask your friend about coats they have got their newborn. That way, you can buy some mittens that will match, so the little one looks super stylish.

 

A designer dress

If your friend is having a princess, you should consider getting them a beautiful dress for their wardrobe. After all, your friend will be delighted to have a gorgeous dress they can put their little one in during special occasions. And if you want to ensure you get them something that no one else will get them, you could opt for getting them a designer dress. After all, nothing says style than going for a brand like Dior for kids. In fact, your friend’s kid could end up wearing something which has been worn by the likes of Suri Cruise. Therefore, have a look in the designer shops for something cute for your friend’s baby.

 

A pair of luxury socks

You can never have enough socks when you have a newborn. After all, they ensure the baby’s feet stay nice and cozy. Therefore, you should opt to get some socks for your friend’s new arrival. But rather than go for traditional white socks, you should go for something bit more stylish. You should opt for a pair of luxury socks which will impress your friend. And you could even get some cute baby shoes for them to use too. They will look like a mini style icon in their cute socks and shoes.

 

A gorgeous bib

Bibs no longer have to be boring. You used to only get them in plain white, pink or blue. But now they have become a gorgeous fashion accessory for kids. You can get bibs which come in beautiful patterns that your friend will love. And they can be worn while their child is out to collect drool while ensuring they look fabulous at the same time!

 

And remember to get something for your friend too. After all, she has gone through the stress of carrying the little one for nine months. You can get some ideas of good gifts on my previous blog.